you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
