I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
