Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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