Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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