I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
