Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
