therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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