I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
