We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
