We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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