im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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