I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
