The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize