What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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