I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
