Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
