Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you didnt know i had herpes?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
