you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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