so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
