I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
