I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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