He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
