Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize