Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
