Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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