Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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