i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize