yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
