Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
