Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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