ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
