Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize