Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
