Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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