There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
