they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
