I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
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