We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
