That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
