He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
