I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
