he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
