I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
