Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
