I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
did i walk over a car last night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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