Having a random hookup so left but love u
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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