i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Moan for me like Helen Keller
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Randomize
