There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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