Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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