I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
