Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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