I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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