He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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