Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize