this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
