oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to sanitize my soul.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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