There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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