How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the day after is always just damage control
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I touched a dick in church today
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
