forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize