then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
