I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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