Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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