I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
