if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
