i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
