Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize