In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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