Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
