Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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