Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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